Hello, dahlings
Fist off, I'm just going to warn you: this post is super wordy. So be prepared. Also, I've written this list of my resolutions for 2013 in a sort of stream-of-conscience style, rather than a traditional list, which might turn out to be a bit confusing, so I'm also creating a special page all for them, which you'll see up in the bar above (or find here). You'll read more about that page later on. See, I told you this would be wordy! Anyway, without further ado:
And then, at the end of January, that list is in some notebook or file in a dusty corner of somewhere, thought of only on those occasions when one cannot sleep properly and the guilt pangs creep in.
I hate those guilt pangs. I get them a lot. Also the not-sleeping thing. Every few months or so, I seem to find myself in a mental rut. It's not good. Generally, it happens after a really busy period in my life, and the comedown from all the adrenaline of stress and rushing tends to give me the blues. Obviously, this isn't really an ideal cycle of life, hence the title of this post: rut-busting resolutions. Emphasis on the busting. And the rut. Also if we could all just take a second to appreciate the alliteration... I do love a good alliteration. Hashtag English student.
In 2013, I will turn the grand-old age of 21. If you've been following me for a while, you might remember the slight panic I had last year at the prospect of turning 20. Before you click on that link, heed this: I've failed at every single one of my goals, pretty much. And why? Because I have a tendency to make big, sweeping statements in an attempt to motivate myself - but the problem with that is that it's quite hard to follow a big sweeping statement through (especially if you've made several of them) when you've also got to, you know, get on with the rest of your life. And especially, again, when a large proportion of that life includes studying. Therefore, my first rut-busting resolution is, quite simply: 1. Set more realistic goals. Expecting too much too quickly of myself is a sure-fire way of ending up in a rut. To break that down even further, I plan to start setting myself weekly and monthly goals, and taking time out of every day/week to evaluate, rewrite, and consider those goals and my progress towards them. Rather than being strict, steadfast goals these will be fluid and changeable, adapting to me rather than making me feel guilty because I can't adapt to them. Some of these (the monthly ones, probably) I might share on this blog (notice 'might', not 'will'. Because I'm learning to be realistic.)
We might as well get this one over with. Again, if you've been visiting my blog for a while - or just if you've read my Get Fit, Live Fabulously goal (which I have sadly neglected of late) - you'll know that I'm on a pretty permanent drive to get my body toned and healthy. This year is no exception, but there will be no more 'Abs by August' disasters/attempts or any other sweeping statements. Most of all, there will be no aims to lose weight, or 'get skinny'. My goal is no more than to feel, in myself, FIT.
My fitness goal this year is simple and twofold: I simply want to firstly get back on track with regular exercising and eating right (both of which, as usual, dipped in the last month or so) and secondly maintain a level of fitness with which I am happy. That's it, that's all: 2. Improve and maintain fitness. I have an exam in about a weeks time (gulp), and I am realistically not expecting myself to kickstart this particular goal until after I've done that exam, seeing as I'm very lucky with only having the one followed by another two weeks off uni. Therefore, once I've finished with my revision you might see a few more fitness-related posts up here as I try to get myself back into a routine.
Image. - Linked to a very good page on calming techniques for busy times.
2013 will, I've decided, be the year that I finally: 3. Get my anxiety under control. Before you think it, this is not a sweeping statement, it is something that I simply have to do. I've talked about my anxiety issues on this blog before, here, in an even wordier and much more emotional post. I'm not going to get into all of that all over again now, but I am going to say that, quite simply, I am not going to go another year of being overwhelmed by the fear of and action of having panic attacks and 'bad days' any longer. I began this post with the fact that this is the year that I turn 21: a proper 'grown-up' age. I've always had an image of myself in my head of how I'd be at this age, and most of my resolutions this year are geared towards marrying that image and my reality. Some elements of that image (like being taller and more swan-like than my 5'2" frame will ever allow - shorties unite!) are going to have to stay fantasy, but being calm and collected isn't one of them. I believe that I will always be a more panic-prone person than others, because I always have been, even before in manifested itself into panic attacks and anxiety. But that's who I am, it's part of me, and all I need to do is learn to control the worst of it and make the rest work to my advantage. If you've seen Arthur Christmas, you might remember a scene in which the title character encourages his grandfather (an ex-Santa) and an elf to make him worry, because his worry is what motivates him to save Christmas for the little girl voiced by Karen-off-of-Outnumbered-and-haven't-they-all-grown?!. When me and the Boyfriend watched it, he turned to me and said "see, that's what you need to do!". I need to turn the energy of worrying into motivation to fix it.
I also need to find ways to minimise my anxiety triggers. This means minimising any unnecessary stress in my life, by becoming more organised and by finding ways to unwind rather than just stewing in my own stress. I need to work on my time management so that I can organise downtime for myself in busy periods, and I need to work on my self-control; I need to have the ability to make myself calm down. I also need to work on making sure that the things that worry me the most stop being so much of a concern for me, which brings me on to my next two resolutions:
4. Save £500, minimum. Now, I think that this might be the resolution that is closest to a sweeping statement. But again, it's something that I feel I have to do. In the last year, I worked on my money management for university, coming up with this system which I find very helpful. However, due to the fact that I spent the miserly savings I had at the beginning of the year on going to and performing at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival (remember when I went on and on about that?) - which I do not regret in the slightest - I now have none. I want to aim big and therefore force myself to be better with money (not spending most of it at the Sainsbury's Local across the road would probably help both this and my fitness goals!) and try to find a new job, since sadly my go-to summer one for the last few years is no longer a viable option. Stupid recession! Money worries always stress me out unduly, so I want to set up a reserve that will stop me from having to stress and scrimp every time the bills come out in the fear there won't be enough for them.
5. Get a 2:1 in my exams. Again, this is a bit of a big ask, but I hope it's an achievable one. I am now exactly halfway through my degree, being in the Christmas hols of my second year. With many of my school friends being in the year above me at uni (I accidentally took a gap year) graduating this summer, my thoughts have recently begun to turn more and more to the question of what I'll do when it's my turn to don cap and gown. Will I go travelling (if so, I'll need money - see above!)? Will I do a masters? Will I try to get a job? Will I just curl up sobbing in a ball clutching my Harry Potter books and Peter Pan, refusing to grow up? For at least half of these options, I'll need a decent degree. I'd love a first, of course, everybody would, but it's a scary task to set yourself. There's an invisible 'minimum' at the end of that goal. This, like all my goals, is fluid, though. If I do well this year, there's no reason I can't aim higher next.
Finally, my most rut-busting resolution of this year is that I will ask myself this question, regularly: "Am I happy? If not, why not? What do I need to change?" Because if I'm happy, how can I be in a rut? I am far too inclined towards to negative, I think, as so many of us are. When you're in a bad mood it's way too easy to think everything is terrible and going to shit, when really what you need to do is change perspective and do a Bob the Builder: Can I fix it? Yes I can! (my getting that song stuck in your head, as it surely now is, is a present, from me to you. You can send your gratitude by any means you wish). I want, need, and deserve a rut-less year: you do too. We all do. So my last resolutions is, simply, 6. To be happy. To change things around when they're getting me down. To be constantly active, busy, and living life to it's maximum without letting stress or worry get me down. To become the carefree, classy, fabulous 21-year-old me that I've been imagining all these years (and for that height problemo? Well, I suppose I'd better save up for some equally fabulous shoes...)
4. Save £500, minimum. Now, I think that this might be the resolution that is closest to a sweeping statement. But again, it's something that I feel I have to do. In the last year, I worked on my money management for university, coming up with this system which I find very helpful. However, due to the fact that I spent the miserly savings I had at the beginning of the year on going to and performing at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival (remember when I went on and on about that?) - which I do not regret in the slightest - I now have none. I want to aim big and therefore force myself to be better with money (not spending most of it at the Sainsbury's Local across the road would probably help both this and my fitness goals!) and try to find a new job, since sadly my go-to summer one for the last few years is no longer a viable option. Stupid recession! Money worries always stress me out unduly, so I want to set up a reserve that will stop me from having to stress and scrimp every time the bills come out in the fear there won't be enough for them.
5. Get a 2:1 in my exams. Again, this is a bit of a big ask, but I hope it's an achievable one. I am now exactly halfway through my degree, being in the Christmas hols of my second year. With many of my school friends being in the year above me at uni (I accidentally took a gap year) graduating this summer, my thoughts have recently begun to turn more and more to the question of what I'll do when it's my turn to don cap and gown. Will I go travelling (if so, I'll need money - see above!)? Will I do a masters? Will I try to get a job? Will I just curl up sobbing in a ball clutching my Harry Potter books and Peter Pan, refusing to grow up? For at least half of these options, I'll need a decent degree. I'd love a first, of course, everybody would, but it's a scary task to set yourself. There's an invisible 'minimum' at the end of that goal. This, like all my goals, is fluid, though. If I do well this year, there's no reason I can't aim higher next.
As I said right at the beginning, I've put all of these resolutions on a separate page, right up there in the bar, next to the Get Fit, Live Fabulously one. I will aim to do monthly summaries of my progress on these goals, or at least as many as seem appropriate (not sure how I'll summarise my progress towards constant happiness, and I feel that sharing various details of my monetary situation to anyone is a bit déclassé), and perhaps also do separate posts related to some of them individually.
What are your New Years Resolutions, if you have any? Do you find yourself in the occasional rut, or have any tips to get out of them?
I hope that you all had a fantastic 2012, and look forward to sharing a glittering, fabulous, golden 2013 with you all. I hope that however you welcomed the new year in was fun and full of love.
Stay golden. Kiss kiss, dahlings XX.
Coming up: My journey to healthy hair | Getting back into fitness | 2013 diary
yeah i was tempted to do a resolutions post but lets face it thy can be a little clichéd and realistic! i like this style of post, much more natural and interesting. I was reading along and i'm pretty sure we are living the same life! happy new year
ReplyDeleteHappy new year :) haha weird if we are! Thanks for not thinking mine was too cliched XX
DeleteRealistic goals are definitely the way to go! I wrote all mine down and I'm going to revisit them at the end of every month to make sure I'm on the right track! Good luck for this year!
ReplyDeletehttp://bel-bien.blogspot.ie/
You too! That's my plan... let's see if it works haha! XX
DeleteHappy new year and may 2013 bring you many joy and laughter!
ReplyDeleteLoved reading this post, very naturally written. I did a resolutions post recently too, just hope I can stick to it! Good luck on achieving your goals x
You too! Xx
DeleteFirst of all Happy New year and let me tell you, you're blog is lovely!!
ReplyDeleteI usually don't make New Years' resolutions because I always fail at them, but this post inspired me a lot. The idea of going realistic is so good and keeping it real and in retrospective if we're happy and achieving our goals!
I wish you the best of luck on that and I'll definitely keep visting :) xx